Take a closer look

Many things happen in a person’s life because there is something there that needs to be seen. For example: Why do we always end up in the same kind of relationship? Why do we always meet the same type of man or woman? Why do the same things keep happening to the same person? Or: Why do we repeatedly experience pain or illness in the same part of our body? Or: Why do certain things upset us or make us angry?

Everything that comes our way, especially when it repeats itself, is a sign. These signs become increasingly clear when we don’t pay attention to them. Nothing happens for no reason. I am convinced of that. 

We all have our own issues and processes. Each of us has our own. It took me quite some time to even realize that. Even if we suspect that we might be attracting the situations we dislike ourselves, we naturally don’t want to admit it. So we don’t even look at it in the first place.

Because it requires us to give up a part of our ego. And the ego isn’t very enthusiastic about that. It does everything in its power to keep us running blindly around, as long as it doesn’t lose a single tooth from its crown. 

Yet it’s much more exhausting to spend your life looking away! It’s as if you had an iron chain on your foot that constantly restricts you, but as long as we can still walk, we simply don’t look at it. And we hide it from others, too. As long as no one sees it, or even asks where it came from, it’s practically not there at all!  

But it’s there. And we feel it, too. Eventually, it starts to hurt. And eventually, we might not be able to walk so well anymore. 

I find it incredible how long we can live like this. How far we can go before it actually knocks us down, and nothing works anymore. 

I’ll stick with this metaphor of the chain. In fact, it isn’t always so easy to see, not even to ourselves. And that’s something that’s different for every person. So many things contribute to whether we see the chain or not. And I know what it’s like when you just don’t see it or don’t want to see it! 

Then, when the moment comes when you see the chain—that is, when we realize what’s behind it, for example in our behavioral patterns—it’s not uncommon to feel shame or even guilt. And I think that’s what holds us back the most from really looking. 

I want to say that it takes a lot of strength to face your issues. No matter what it is, and no matter what “the others” say about it, rest assured that facing your issues with courage and love will help you grow. Because that is what it takes: courage and love.

Everyone is more or less able to recognize this. And that’s okay. No one is better or worse because of it. We all grow up under different circumstances. Every person has gathered countless experiences up to this day and has encountered so many different people, dramas, and issues. 

All too often, we look to others for the blame for our own dissatisfaction. Yet the key to change lies only within ourselves. Contempt and judgment have never helped anyone.

Stay true to yourself. Be the change. If you want peace, then be peace. Without exception.